Corporate worship on Sunday is a very special time. I found I needed to train my children to participate and behave during this time. Because each child is different there were different issues to correct, but the goals were the same, to participate and behave in such a way they did not hinder the worship service, rather they received and benefited others.
Maybe because I had boys, I found toys, snacks, storybooks, and being allowed to move around a lot easily distracted them. I learned to look ahead, how did I want this child to behave in the future? If I satisfied him for the moment with what ever was at hand, was I really training him to participate and behave in the future?
What worked? It was essential for Dad and Mom to model acceptable behavior this meant avoiding talking and other distracting behaviors while fully participating in the service. Also, Dad and Mom could avoid sitting near others who would be distractions.
With infants I scheduled feeding around worship services. This might mean I needed to feed before, between, or immediately after services. As a mom of young children, you miss enough services with training opportunities; I wasn’t going to plan feeding during this time. This meant our entire week was dictated on Sunday’s worship schedule. Having Dad hold the baby also helped to keep a little one quiet. Dad had a way of not noticing every little wiggle and firmly letting baby know what was acceptable.
For young children do the obvious take them for drinks and to the bathroom before the service will begin. Also feed them well at home. We encouraged singing with the congregation, standing, participating in the offering collection, and sitting quietly at appropriate times. They were not allowed to scribble on church offering envelopes, but they might “take notes” during the sermon. I have a personal dislike for many “Children’s Bibles.” So, my children received a “real” large print Bible when they were able to read short and long vowel words on their own. Before this they sometimes carried a New Testament to help them learn the importance of God’s Word.
Practice makes permanent, expect the same behavior at home while Dad reads the Bible and other books and sing together as a family. It is okay if you come closer to making a “joyful noise” when you are beginning. Find a CD that you and your children enjoy singing to that contains songs used at your church.
Even with these steps our boys were not perfect, there were many times I needed to take one out to correct behavior. Yet, I cannot remember taking a child out after two years of age. Be consistent and persevere.
3 comments:
Hi! I found your blog through Raising Homemakers. I would like to ask you more about training your children to be part of Sunday Service. We are the only family in our church that even seems to want to keep our children with us. Our 6 year old does well sitting with us, but we didn't start until she was 5 years old. We now have a 3 month old and would like to keep him with us starting from the beginning. We are starting to be pressured to put him in the nursery. I'm at a loss as to what to do with in these months between the quiet newborn stage and the able to participate by singing, standing etc..
Thanks!
Kari
Here from Raising Homemakers. I am currently dealing with the pressure of putting my babe (11 months) in the nursery and leaving her there with attendants during the service at our local church. I am not comfortable with this and am attempting to teach my little one to be patient and sit still with a little teether or quiet toy on my lap. I am glad I am not the only one out there that thinks young children can sit in the service!! Sometimes it feels as if I am the only one!
Kari, and Mrs. V.,
I hope you were encouraged from each others' posts.
Kari, it helped our children to practice at home, to be praised when they sat well, and with our youngest it worked for me to turn him tummy side down on my lap when he was not behaving appropriately. He quickly learned that as soon as he was quiet he would be able to sit up. Other families may have different methods of quietly letting their children know when behavior is not acceptable. If you practice at home they will soon learn.
It is a training process, meaning you won't have perfect results immediately. After all we are imperfect parents. Be as consistent as you can. When we are faithful to follow what God wants us to do, He pours out His grace on us to enable us to do it.
Mrs. V. so many have grown up with everyone being segregated as the norm, that they don't even think of the possibility of parents being willing to go through the effort of training their children to be with them and that children can absorb and learn with adults.
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